I had been sitting in that same reclining chair from sun up to sun down. Life seemed to be standing still yet everything was spinning around me. We had a newborn sleeping peacefully down the hall but nothing was how I had envisioned my first experience at motherhood. Blood clots can do that I guess.

It was late and time to go to bed. I dreaded sleep. It was long and painful and not really sleep at all. And the walk down the hall to the bedroom was even worse. That night, the pain seemed more than I could handle. It was beyond my capacity to even speak. As I stood to walk, I crumbled to the ground in tears. Through my sobs and labored breath, he lifted me slowly. I could tell it was hurting him to see me this way. His voice trembled as he asked what he could do. Still, I couldn't get the words out.

He hoisted my hands around his neck, gently scooped me into his arms, and carried me.

Me. The girl who despises being lifted or picked up in any shape or form. He knew that then and he still knows it now. But it was something I needed to learn early on in our relationship…if I am broken, He will carry me.

And he does.

some little details from our anniversary stay last month.

same hotel. same room. not a bit had changed after 10 years. except for us (insert chuckle).

i love classic design that doesn't need to change to stay cool. 

he meant to surprise me.
quite by accident, i found out.
even so, he still takes my breath away.

he took me back to where it started.
to celebrate that it will never end.

image via tara whitney

first, a huge thank you for all of your sweet comments about our saga. it was a fun journey for me. i highly recommend documenting your relationship in some way…it will renew the spark and make you twitterpated all over again!

yesterday was a lovely day. and a comical one too.
it started with tulips. followed by a deliciously decadent dinner. mmmm….
and to wrap up the night we checked into a pretty hotel for an overnight stay. that's when it turned funny. (no worries, it's still g-rated)

jeff opened the door and flipped on the lights. i glanced in and saw two itty bitty double beds. "no way," he protested. "this can't be."
i had a hearty laugh envisioning the three of us–me, my belly, and him jockeying for space to sleep.
we decided to head back downstairs and see if they had anything bigger available. we're not too picky. seriously, a queen would have been just fine. but no. nothing. unless we wanted to fork out a boat load for some fancy schmancy suite. but hey, we're cheap. and not too proud to admit it.

so back up we went to spend our evening ricky and lucy style. him in one bed. me in the other. it was quite possibly our most memorable anniversary yet. 🙂

After a night of botched plans, we agreed to have a re-do and go out again.
He took me to a quaint café, and this time I knew I needed to spill the beans about my relationship with Home Teacher. This was going to be brutal.
He listened. Sometimes looking concerned. Sometimes confused.

“I guess I should tell you about a girl in Arizona.” He confessed. He was just letting go of a relationship as well. In fact, he had just been with her a week earlier.
We agreed we were both on the rebound. So where do we go from here? I honestly had no idea.

The next day as I was walking out of class, Jeff was waiting at the bottom of the stairs to talk with me. “Hey, I just want you to know that I’m okay with what you told me last night. I don’t think you’re weird even though you probably feel pretty vulnerable right now.” 
He was right. I had felt like an open book with my excess baggage scattered all around me. What a relief that he didn’t feel the urge to run the other way, leaving it all at my feet.

But the drama wasn’t quite over yet. Not too much time went by before Home Teacher resurfaced. Without going into too much detail, all I can say is it was painful.  I couldn’t handle this anymore—no men, no dating, and no relationships of any sort. I needed out.

I met up with Jeff to break the news. 
“I need some time.” I lamented. “I have to clear my mind and not hurt anyone else. So if you want to move on, go ahead.”
“I understand,” he said. “Take whatever time you need. But if it were up to me, I’d still be with you every day.”
“You are too nice.” I said, shocked at his reply. “This could take months though.”
“Well, I won’t just be sitting around. But you know where to find me.”

It would take months. I was sure of it. I didn’t want to even think about the opposite sex at all. Nope. Not one bit.

So how long did my self-imposed quarantine last? Three excruciatingly long days. On the third night, I showed up at his door holding a single gerbera daisy. I timidly knocked and waited. The door opened and immediately a house full of people was staring at a ridiculously frightened girl wanting to shrink in embarrassment. They were having a party. Just great.

His back was towards me. He was on the phone. I was tempted to drop the flower and hide. All eyes followed as someone nudged him to turn around. Looking at me in disbelief, he stopped mid sentence. His conversation ended short as he quickly hung up the phone, stepped outside, and closed the door.

He grinned with amazement. “Does this mean what I think it does?”
“Yes,” my voice trembled. “I’m ready. I want this. With you.”

From then on, we spent every spare minute together. The days simply weren’t long enough. That Sunday evening we decided to hang out and watch one of my favorite love stories—Legacy. As we were sitting on the couch, an intensely warm and electrifying feeling swept over me. A thought passed clearly through my mind, You could be really good together. Stunned, I glanced over at him. He looked me with the same wonder.
“Are you feeling what I’m feeling?” he asked.
Nervously, I replied, “I think so.”
He pulled me close without saying a word. But we both knew. No doubts. No doubts at all.

Blissfully I sailed home and through my apartment door. My roommates anxiously asked for the update. “What do you think?” “What happened?” “Is he the one?” They grilled me with excitement. My back against the bedroom wall, I slid down and wrapped my hands around my knees.

Undeniably, I knew I would spend my life and longer with him.