motherhood – Cherie Mask

This wild road

October 22, 2013 5 Comments

I saw one of my dear friends a few nights ago and in our catching up, she reminded me about the days I used to blog. I smiled. I loved to be the storyteller of our life…sharing the funny, quirky, and important moments that I unlocked from my mind and crafted into words. I love looking back and remembering the time I was wrangling a toddler in a doctor's office while naked (ahem) or the stranger on the internet who changed our lives. Those were good times and hard times and beautiful times.

Life is still good, hard, and beautiful. Yet, it is a little different now. My youngest is four. Four lovely years old. And it's hard to fathom that toddlerhood is almost no longer part of my life. It has been for so long. Diapers, tantrums, locked doors to prevent mischief, middle of the night cries…it's almost gone. But a whole new world is opening up that I love. Having mature conversations, laughing at funny jokes, seeing their unique personalities blossom, I relish this time when they are looking to me for guidance but slowly becoming their own kind of wonderful. It's a privilige to be watching it unfold before my eyes.

I look forward to seeing what this next stage of life will bring. Motherhood truly is my greatest work. I feel the weight of responsibity yet I also feel the joy of becoming. Watching my children become and I become right along with them. We are shaping each other as we travel this wild road together.

motherhood

Let me love you

March 28, 2013 No Comments

Now, more than ever, I'm feeling the speed at which my children are changing. There was a point when I wished of nothing more than for them to reach that age when they could do more for themselves, be more independent and not need me so much.

My how the tides have changed. Oh they still need me, of course. But it's that slipping through my fingers feeling that tugs at my heart.

And I just want to press my nose to theirs, look into those little eyes and say let me love you.

Let me love you as long as I can.

motherhood, our family

the summer swing

June 22, 2011 2 Comments

Summer is in full swing around here. Truthfully, I've never been very good at summer. For 2 out of the 4 years we've been here, I've been hugely pregnant.

Pregnancy + Arizona Summer + Cherie = Looney McRooney

You get the idea.

When this summer started creeping in, I felt like we needed to do something different. They needed something different and so did I. I needed to feel like I wasn't just hanging on for the ride, but that I was making the ride better for all of us. After perusing some articles on Power of Moms, I decided on my plan of attack. A schedule! Oh yes, I was going to make a schedule. See, me and schedules don't exactly get along. We like to pretend we're friends but really we have this roller-coaster relationship that always ends in a nasty break up.

But not this year.

This year, I changed it up. And hallelujah…It's working! We've got a daily schedule so everyone knows what's happening and what they need to accomplish. Along with that is a daily theme that gets their little brains excited for each new day. I love it! They love it! (Somebody tell me why it's only taken me this long to figure this out!)

Our daily themes are:
Masterpiece Monday: Art or Craft Project
Take a Trip Tuesday: Library, Museum, Friend's House
Wet Wednesday: Swim, Water Games
Treat Thursday: Make a treat, Visit Water & Ice
Friend Friday: Invite a friend over

I can't take credit for these ideas…I just found them on Power of Moms. But man, I'm glad it got my wheels turning just in time.

Here's a peek at Masterpiece Monday a couple of weeks ago. Hours of fun, I tell you.

Let the summer swing on!

Here's the recipe for flubber just in case you're interested:

Materials:
Warm Water
2 cups Elmer's Glue
2 tsp. Borax
Food Coloring

Directions:
1. In the first bowl combine:
    1 1/2 cups very warm water
    2 cups Elmer's Glue
    Food Coloring
2. In a separate bowl, mix thoroughly:
    1 1/3 cups very warm water
    2 level teaspoons borax
3. Mix the contents of the two bowls together kneading until it is fully combined
4. Discard any remaining liquid

motherhood, our family

the big world.

August 13, 2010 6 Comments

it happened.
school started.
this time with one more little person from our household venturing out into the big world.
a little apprehension. i can see it on their faces.
a little excitement. i can see it in their steps.
a little sadness. is what i feel as they get a bit farther away from needing me.

everything went fairly smoothly on the first day except for one minor detail.
note to self: having a 3-year-old that is potty training can really mess things up. (pun intended!) i got dallin off to school without too much hassle but when i was getting ready to load up the car to take ella, accident #1 happened. poop! but no problem. i cleaned him up and attempted to move everyone on out the door again. but then there was accident #2. poop again!! by this time, i'm losing steam. and time!
we were going to be late.
seriously? on the first day of kindergarten? all i can think is i'm such a loser mom!
we hustle out the door for the third time and i'm driving like a batty woman yet again. we pull up to the school, i jump out with ella hoping to salvage one of those endearing moments. i quickly tell her i love her and reach out to take her hand. but she brushes it away.
she scoots off to join the end of the line as the class is filing away.
there i stood. missing her. missing that sweet moment we were supposed to have. and missing my little girl that didn't need my hand as much as i needed hers.

the good news is she came bounding home with a skip in her step and a smile on her face.
and truly…that's all i really needed to see anyway.

motherhood, our family, torticollis

indispensable

June 21, 2010 19 Comments

tomorrow morning this sweet boy has eye surgery. i wish i could say i'm not scared. but i am. eyes are on the same level for me as the heart or brain. kind of indispensable. i might be bordering on terrified. but fear is the absence of faith, and i can't go there. i need all the faith i can get.

i am sure he will be fine. it's me they will need to hook up to oxygen. 🙂

we'd appreciate your prayers so much. thanks for all of your love and concern.

xoxo

motherhood

and oh, the shoes

June 6, 2010 5 Comments

today was a typical sunday morning–a chaotic race to get everyone dressed, ready and out the door to church and still look and feel somewhat respectable by the time we arrive. no matter how much planning, we just have to expect the unexpected. which usually can mean a poopy diaper right as we're walking out door, milk spilled on a clean dress, distraught tears, and a quick change of clothes, chasing a boy around the kitchen with a squirt bottle and gel on my hand attempting to comb hair…the gel ending up mostly on his face, and searching for a missing child only to find him hiding out in the back of the car.

after we've put out all of these fires, then come the shoes. and oh the shoes!! why are they never in the place you expect them to be? and why, oh why do they never fit? church shoes are my nemesis. yes, they have it out for me. bad.

last sunday, after we all jumped in the car and drove away, the kids were supposed to get their shoes on en route. overheard in the backseat was, "they're too tight, mom! ugh…i can't. get. ugh. them. ugh. on." my response was "try as hard as you can, dallin. we have no choice! i will buy new shoes for you this week. just keep trying!" reluctantly, he managed to get them on and that was that.

until this morning. as we headed out the door, i remembered. shoes! not the shoes! i forgot to buy new ones and his feet have surely grown two sizes bigger than last week! i knew this wasn't going to end pretty. i pulled him aside and explained that i had forgotten to buy him some bigger shoes. "i'm so sorry, dallin. this is my fault. but i promise. I PROMISE, i will buy some this week." he wasn't amused by my flakiness.

i had to make something good out of this debacle and so i tossed this out at him, "dallin, if i don't buy you new shoes this week, you won't have to go church next sunday. deal?" a huge grin appeared on his face. just what i needed to see. then he shoved his feet into those tiny holes and we were on our way. jeff smiled at our little negotiation and i knew i had a serious deal on my hands.

as dallin was getting ready for bed tonight, he sneaked up close to me and whispered, "don't buy the shoes." with a smirk, i smiled back.

the game is on.

to be continued…

motherhood

perfect defined

May 24, 2010 10 Comments

i recently heard a husband talking about his wife this past mother's day. in his adoration of her, he said she was the perfect wife and mother, perfect not because she doesn't make mistakes but because she never lets them drag her down.

his words stopped me dead in my tracks. and i've been tossing them around in my mind ever since.

this. this is what i need to remind myself of on a daily basis. because lately i've been doing anything but.

in fact just a few days ago after losing my temper, i sent jeff a text saying this: it's lousy mom day. and when the next day didn't seem to go any better, i sent another one: lousy mom, day 2.

it was then that i recalled those words…don't let the mistakes drag you down.

and it hit me that this is what the atonement is all about. we make mistakes. we repent. we go forward. it's not that i don't know this already, but the application of it was clearer than ever before. this is how we become perfected in Christ.

his simple words of praise have affected me profoundly.

even if today isn't a perfect mom day…which i'm positive it will not be, i won't be letting it drag me down. and that's good enough for me.

(on a side note, i had someone call yesterday and ask for a picture of me and ella together. i quickly thought, sure no problem until i searched through my photos and realized i don't have one! what? so i handed jeff the camera and he gave me back some priceless images. i'm convinced every mom needs to do this more often!)

motherhood, our family

those hours

April 15, 2010 9 Comments

you know those hours.
every mother knows those hours.
the hours of the day when things seem to come unglued.
somewhere in the middle of 4 and 6pm…or the bewitching hours, as i call them.

people are cranky. people are tired. there is a squabble around every corner.

and you wish these hours would simply disappear.

but they don't. and they won't. and they shouldn't.

because these hours are so much more important than i give them credit for.

i have a wonderful friend who gave me some advice about these hours. they are the crossroads of the day. children are coming home from school. little ones might be waking from naps. dads are coming home from work. the things that have drawn us apart during the day are over and our paths are coming back together.

to home.

these are the hours that count. these are the hours when i need to be at the top of my game. not checked out…hoping for an early bedtime. these hours shouldn't be so filled with busyness that we don't have time to talk. and they shouldn't be so empty that we want to strangle each other.

these are hours to listen. to play. to share. to teach. to learn.

to love.

motherhood

the hour

February 10, 2010 12 Comments

it is dark outside.

i climb back into bed after feeding the wee man and snuggle under a warm and toasty blanket. i burrow my head into the pillow and dream of another hour of sleep. just enough to get me rested for a new day of tasks, and challenges, and responsibilities.

then i hear it.

pitter patter. pitter patter.

he is coming.

ughh…not yet. please.

"mooom," he whispers softly. "moooooooom."

i pretend not to hear him. that one hour is still mine. i have already claimed it.

but he wants it too.

reluctantly, i roll over and peek at him from under the blanket.

"go back to bed." i urge.

but he remains steady. staring.

i slide out of bed, pick him up, and carry him back to his room. this hour will not be taken from me. no it won't.

the covers flop over me again and i settle in and close my eyes.

not two seconds later i hear it again but faster this time.

pit. pat. pit. pat.

"moooom. bed. up."

i turn over. reach for his arms. and hoist him close to me.

he sighs. and i do too.

i lost.

a meaningless hour for an irreplaceable moment.

on second thought.

i won.

motherhood, torticollis

one moment

January 28, 2010 12 Comments

these are moments that happened today.

but there was one moment today that i don't want to remember.

at the same time, i don't think i can forget it.

i had to hold my boy as he was sedated for an MRI. watching him struggle, eyes roll back and then his body go lifeless…no, i don't want to remember it.

but i will. because it's one of those moments etched in my mind that makes me grateful for
all the other moments that seem trivial, or difficult, or crazy, or all of
the above.

all it takes is one moment like that.

i've never been so happy to see him scream.

edit: thanks so much for all your love! lincoln is doing well. he had the MRI to further investigate the cause of his torticollis. we don't know the exact results yet but we do know that he seems to be a mystery to the medical world. we've been down every possible avenue but nothing has really worked. the good news is he has great range of motion, which means he can easily move his neck in all directions. but…he likes it just where it is. it's a hard habit to break (sing it, chicago!) looks like it is going to be a long road for us and him.

if he won't straighten it for us, maybe he will do it for a girl. ;)