the compromise

one of the first serious discussions in our few weeks of dating was

mountains vs. beach

i took the mountains. jeff took the beach. i presented my case. and he presented his. i would not be swayed. yet neither would he.

i could go into a lengthy discourse on the beauties that abound in the crisp mountain air but i think he turned off about the time i said the word "hike."

we never really saw eye to eye on that subject. but luckily it didn't stop us from getting married. and for the record, marriage=compromise. soon after that we moved to california and the beach became our playground. it still is.

let it be known, i haven't abandoned the mountains. but i will say that the beach can give them a run for the money. that, perhaps, is the secret to a happy marriage…love the beach. 🙂

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feeling blessed

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a week and a half ago, this little man was blessed by his dad. i am always emotional when i think of what the future holds for my children. i know it holds good things for this boy. amazing things.
but i have to admit when i start thinking about his future, i start thinking about his wife.
and being a mother-in-law.
and hoping that she likes me.
and wanting her to bring the grandkids over often.

yeah. i think too much.

(but really. please let her like me!)

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sidetracked

i am the sidetrackiest sidetracker.
what exactly does that mean?
good question.
it means i can't ever stay on task.

i sat down yesterday at the computer to get some important things done.
did i do them?
……..

no. but i have a rockin' new desktop wallpaper instead.

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maybe i'll get around to that other stuff today.
maybe.

photos by tara and me

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her town

ventura, ca
quirky
unique
charming
just like the little girl who was born here.

it's her town.

we kind of like it too.
which is probably why we frequent the place oh like 4 or 5 times a year. maybe more.
if we're lucky.

why did we ever move?
oh yeah, that one thing called a job. 🙂

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vitamin a

i call her my vitamin a.

we took a road trip over the weekend because i needed a dose.

she helps me see more clearly.

she fills me up with her goodness.

she makes me want to be a better person.

she shares her heart with me.

and in turn, i feel safe to share mine.

for a friendship like hers, i'd travel a million miles. 

and back.

love you, my friend.

here's hoping the next road trip is here before we know it.

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moments

last week jeff told me he was starving for a blog post. i told him i haven't been able to think of anything interesting to say. after all, my brain is being siphoned out through my chest right now. and strange things have been happening as a result.

for instance, i have found myself feeling seriously distraught by the death of michael jackson. (yes, it's okay for you to laugh here. i am.) i can either attribute this to the fact that i was an avid thriller fan or because my hormones are having too much fun on the roller coaster to get off. i'm pretty sure it's the latter.

i've also turned into a closet drinker. of root beer, that is. i've been downing my secret stash of the brown stuff while hiding in the pantry to avoid eliciting pleas of "i want some too, mom!" sometimes they find me though. then the jig is up.

i'm still in the post-pregnancy twilight zone where days, hours, and minutes float around me in a cloudy haze. yet there are moments that seem to freeze in time. moments of being a new mother of 4 that i want to hang onto forever when
one is attached to me.
one is climbing all over me.
one is pulling on my hand telling me stories.
and one is snuggled next to me saying "i love you, mom."

life is beautiful.

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grateful for this village

i've heard it said time and time again…

it takes a village to raise a child

and i also believe it takes a village to help a mother find her bearings after having a child.

blame it on hormones or whatever but today i'm feeling excessively weepy/emotional/grateful for all the people creating my village–this growing group that has supported me throughout the crazy physical challenges i've had during the past few years.

thank you for being part of this village for me. i appreciate all of the love you have given me here. it makes me happy. so thank you–so much.

i look forward to the time when i can be a giver instead of a receiver. hopefully soon.

and with that…more baby photos which are sure to be plentiful in the days ahead. can't help it!

here's the little man's first bath documented.

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while i was sleeping

a little over two weeks ago, my body started to boycott being pregnant. as with any normal pregnancy, once you get closer to the end every part of you seems to say, "nope, i'm too uncomfortable, too exhausted, too achy, and way too done to even move." i had every bit of those feelings going on when a different and unexpected feeling decided to join the party.

up to that point, i had previously had 3 c-sections leaving me with a lovely scar as a souvenir. i'd never really had any problems with that little marking until recently. it started to hurt. badly. at first i thought it was just stretching or ligaments pulling or just me getting antsy to deliver. but then a burning sensation started. i literally felt like i was coming apart at the seams.

i had an appointment scheduled with my doctor in a few days so i figured i'd wait and ask him to assess the situation. he checked things out and informed me that the baby's head was firmly positioned right up against my scar and no doubt the pressure on it was causing discomfort. he gave me the usual "take it easy, call us if you notice anything unusual" drill and sent me on my way.

with my delivery date was still 2 weeks out, i was dreading every second until then. a day or two went by and the burning became more intense. standing up and walking became almost unbearable. i felt like the baby might just break on through in Alien fashion. that would qualify for an unusual enough reason to call my doctor, right?

i called their office again and explained my plight. the nurse called back and told me to head on over to the hospital. yikes! i had no idea what to expect. but i was figuring they would pat me on the head, tell me to be tough, and send me home.

jeff and i arrived at the hospital around noon. the nurses did their thing–asked questions, hooked me up to the machines, and then had me lay there in triage for a few hours until the doctor arrived. pretty boring up until this point. finally the doctor came and checked things out again. nothing had torn but he wanted to get an ultrasound to see what might be happening inside.

another few hours went by as we waited for the ultrasound and results. at about 4:30 pm the curtain to my room opened. a group of people entered the room all at once. the doctor followed them in and my stomach dropped to my toes.

we were having the baby immediately.

i started to shake. i wasn't ready yet. i hadn't mentally prepared for this. with the trauma that has surrounded our childbirths in the past, i am emotionally scarred. and here it was all over again. jeff grabbed my hands, held me still, and reminded me that everything was going to be fine. we knew it would be.

the doctor started explaining to jeff what they saw in the ultrasound. normally there is muscle shielding the scar area. i had nothing. the baby's head was pushing directly on scar tissue with no barrier. with the possibility of uterine rupture happening, they decided to bring baby out a bit early. 

meanwhile the anesthesiologist gave me the news i didn't want to hear. they would have to put me under completely because i had taken my blood thinning injection that morning. it would be potentially fatal if anything went wrong with the spinal block. general anesthesia was the safest thing to do.

i can't say that i was completely calm as they were prepping me for surgery. in fact, i was shaking the entire time. but deep inside i felt peace. and an even greater peace swept over me as the fogginess was leaving and i saw something blue in front of me. as my eyes focused, jeff came into view. i remember telling him that he was the best thing i had ever seen.

and he told me we had a beautiful, healthy baby boy…
while i was sleeping.

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here’s the man

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thank you all so much for welcoming this little guy to the world!
i'm still amazed that he is already here. he is wonderfully perfect. we love him!
and yes, he wouldn't be a part of our family if he didn't have some sort of adventurous arrival. that's just how we roll. it's a crazy story. and i hope to be able to share it with you tomorrow.
i'm still moving slowly. oh so very slowly. but i'm being well cared for. definitely.

thanks again for your love!

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