a little over two weeks ago, my body started to boycott being pregnant. as with any normal pregnancy, once you get closer to the end every part of you seems to say, "nope, i'm too uncomfortable, too exhausted, too achy, and way too done to even move." i had every bit of those feelings going on when a different and unexpected feeling decided to join the party.
up to that point, i had previously had 3 c-sections leaving me with a lovely scar as a souvenir. i'd never really had any problems with that little marking until recently. it started to hurt. badly. at first i thought it was just stretching or ligaments pulling or just me getting antsy to deliver. but then a burning sensation started. i literally felt like i was coming apart at the seams.
i had an appointment scheduled with my doctor in a few days so i figured i'd wait and ask him to assess the situation. he checked things out and informed me that the baby's head was firmly positioned right up against my scar and no doubt the pressure on it was causing discomfort. he gave me the usual "take it easy, call us if you notice anything unusual" drill and sent me on my way.
with my delivery date was still 2 weeks out, i was dreading every second until then. a day or two went by and the burning became more intense. standing up and walking became almost unbearable. i felt like the baby might just break on through in Alien fashion. that would qualify for an unusual enough reason to call my doctor, right?
i called their office again and explained my plight. the nurse called back and told me to head on over to the hospital. yikes! i had no idea what to expect. but i was figuring they would pat me on the head, tell me to be tough, and send me home.
jeff and i arrived at the hospital around noon. the nurses did their thing–asked questions, hooked me up to the machines, and then had me lay there in triage for a few hours until the doctor arrived. pretty boring up until this point. finally the doctor came and checked things out again. nothing had torn but he wanted to get an ultrasound to see what might be happening inside.
another few hours went by as we waited for the ultrasound and results. at about 4:30 pm the curtain to my room opened. a group of people entered the room all at once. the doctor followed them in and my stomach dropped to my toes.
we were having the baby immediately.
i started to shake. i wasn't ready yet. i hadn't mentally prepared for this. with the trauma that has surrounded our childbirths in the past, i am emotionally scarred. and here it was all over again. jeff grabbed my hands, held me still, and reminded me that everything was going to be fine. we knew it would be.
the doctor started explaining to jeff what they saw in the ultrasound. normally there is muscle shielding the scar area. i had nothing. the baby's head was pushing directly on scar tissue with no barrier. with the possibility of uterine rupture happening, they decided to bring baby out a bit early.
meanwhile the anesthesiologist gave me the news i didn't want to hear. they would have to put me under completely because i had taken my blood thinning injection that morning. it would be potentially fatal if anything went wrong with the spinal block. general anesthesia was the safest thing to do.
i can't say that i was completely calm as they were prepping me for surgery. in fact, i was shaking the entire time. but deep inside i felt peace. and an even greater peace swept over me as the fogginess was leaving and i saw something blue in front of me. as my eyes focused, jeff came into view. i remember telling him that he was the best thing i had ever seen.
and he told me we had a beautiful, healthy baby boy…
while i was sleeping.
