this past week jeff has been asking every day, "when are you going to blog again?"
yesterday i replied, "well, maybe when there are four of me then i can."
i think i’ve had about 5 entries written in my mind but finding the time to type it out is a different story. i’d have to choose between blogging and taking a shower. and um…frankly i figured he’d rather go without my ramblings than have a stinky wife. 🙂

geez, life is full right now. not many moments in the day are available to just think quietly. except for maybe 2 a.m. and actually, i have on occasion stayed awake after feeding lincoln to do just that. be alone without anyone needing me for something. i often think of a quote from one of my favorite talks because she is a mother from elder holland.

With night feedings and night teethings, often the greatest challenge of all for a young mother is simply fatigue. Through these years, mothers go longer on less sleep and give more to others with less personal renewal for themselves than any other group I know at any other time in life. It is not surprising when the shadows under their eyes sometimes vaguely resemble the state of Rhode Island.

but you know, it’s all good. it’s good because i know i wouldn’t have it any other way. sometimes when i’m in the thick of it all i jokingly i ask myself, "is this what i was born to do?" and sure enough i am reminded by the spirit that yes, this is what i have always wanted to do and be. sometimes motherhood may not always be exactly like i expected, but it is my greatest work. and truthfully somedays i wake up and don’t want to go to "work." some days i’d like to get a replacement or fake with my best "first thing in the morning raspy, hacking, coughy voice" and call in sick. but…i have three bosses who would see right through that one. 🙂

but i’m glad they would see through it because no replacement would love them as much as i do. or patiently clean up their food flung everywhere for the third time that day. or rock them gently back to sleep for the fourth time that night. or sing them the same song for the fiftieth time while they say go faster or slower. or run across the room arm outstretched with them pretending to be superman. or dance with them in my arms while we boogie to any beat. or read them the book about frogs one more time even though i want to hide it so i don’t have to read it yet again. or give them countless eskimo and butterfly kisses just before bedtime.

and even though my body breathes a sigh of relief each night as i close their bedroom doors, i am happy. happy to be their momma and to love them like no replacement can.         

he yells.

she cries.

he screams.

and, yep, this one’s on replay

all. day. long.

what’s playing at your house? 🙂

a little humor from today’s doctor appointment.

while waiting for the doctor to come in, the sweet little latina nurse and i had a fun conversation. she was asking about my kids and i was asking about hers. we talked about birthdays, challenging two-year-olds, keeping everyone happy, etc.

then she went over to lincoln’s stroller and pulled back the visor to take a peek. with an alarmed gasp, she exclaimed, “oh my gosh, you shaved his head?!”

“oh, no.” i smiled. “that’s how he came.” i know most latin cuties need a haircut upon arrival, but surely she has seen bald babies before, right? 🙂

too bad jeff’s latin blood wasn’t enough to thwart my bestowal of baldness to the boy. who else can say that they were the recipient of the “oldest baby with the least hair” award? i wear that honor with pride, baby!

my cure for a long night…

breakfast = brownies and root beer.

yes, that’s what i do since coffee is not an option.

🙂

happy wednesday!

hello 3…..goodbye 2
hello buxom chest…..goodbye thick hair
hello night light…..goodbye sleep
hello feet…..goodbye cankles
hello scar…..goodbye tummy
hello rocking chair…..goodbye bed
hello ponytail…..goodbye make-up
hello spit up…..goodbye dry anything
hello lincoln…..goodbye another piece of my heart

and in this case squirt would be me.

let’s just say this. swimming upstream has never been my forte. um…well swimming in general is out of the question. 😉
it’s been a crazy few days since my parents have gone home and i’ve been left alone with *gasp* 3 children! i’ve been trying to harness some super human powers. but unfortunately elastigirl abilities are accessible for nursing purposes only. and it seems that i can’t quite disappear like violet either. although i have been hiding the baby in our walk-in closet during his naptime. but ella was onto that one in no time too. luckily i found her before any brutality occurred. i heard her sweet little voice calling out “baby, baby,” but the third time her tone changed as she muttered under her breath growling “bai..beee.” i managed to intervene and keep the jekyll-hyde at bay!
for now, i’m just trying to take it one tv show at a time. and hoping we’ll all survive until daddy gets home! 😉

some people.
some people do amazing things without ever realizing the impact. just thinking about that today. another experience from the birth process that i want to record and remember. so that i can be more like this person some day.
as you may know, i have not had the most pleasant of experiences when it comes to childbirth. more like terrifying in my mind. which is why i suffer from occasional panic attacks during pregnancy and especially right before delivery. this time i was hoping it would be different. but it wasn’t. i tried to find a happy place, but i just couldn’t stay there long enough. jeff tried to be the best coach possible too. but then there is the time when you just have to enter it alone.
this story starts as i was in the OR prepping for the surgery. jeff couldn’t come in. he had to wait in the hall until the anesthesiologist had given me the spinal and i was completely ready.
they put me up on the table and had me clutch my arms around a pillow and bend slightly at the waist to prepare for the spinal entry. as i sat there, my mind began to conjure up fear and the tears started to flow. embarassed, i put my head down and tried to keep my emotions from view. at that moment, a nurse came from across the room, stood in front of me and put her arms around mine. she said something softly to me. i don’t remember what. but she calmed me. she helped me. and her touch gave me a reassurance that it was okay. and she held me until it was time to lie down. maybe she was supposed to do that as part of her job, maybe she sensed my fear, maybe i was trembling and wasn’t hiding anything at all but i do know i am grateful for some people.

some people who make things better simply for being there. some people like her.