jeff and i have been talking lately about what I like to call "bursting."
it’s those moments when you have an overwhelming surge of love overcome you.
your heart is full.
you smile.
and you just want that person to know you love them more deeply and infinitely than you knew was possible.
had those feelings today for my sweet, darling children.
i hope when they are older, they can look at this picture and feel what i do. these days are fond ones.
love you truly, madly, deeply.
-cher
when i took this picture today, i immediately thought of amy. happy. smiley. contagious laughter. beautiful.
we certainly hope that ella takes after her aunt amy with so many of those wonderful attributes. anyone who is around amy will agree. she envigorates you with her upbeat, joyful attitude.
ella was all smiles today! she is one amazing little trooper considering that she got her shots this morning. she amazes me with her gentle spirit. i can feel it when i am close to her. she radiates a peace and calmness that i so need when i get wrapped up in my own anxieties. i’m so glad i took notes of her blessing. jeff mentioned her kindness and gentleness. it is amazing that i can see it in her already.
joy in our posterity. that’s a happiness that has no equal.
i can dream can’t i? i saw this cabinet at the pottery barn store and just drooled. i’ve been wanting some sort of curio cabinet to put my lladro in but nothing ever seemed quite my style. well, this is it!!
i want, i want, i need, i need. ok, maybe i don’t need it, but i’m wishing. i’m wishing someday my cabinet will come.
very cool indeed.
well, i think i came to a command decision: he’s not ready and that’s okay. i’m not worried. he’s not worried. and we all feel better about the whole thing. i think he was more interested in the treats he would get instead of the actual process. so next time i will make sure we reward with things other than treats.
i’m thrilled that we are going to the temple tonight. i haven’t been since February. we rented one of the temple apartments and we’re going to make it an overnight family affair. we’re hoping to make this a monthly outing. what a fun opportunity we have to involve our kiddies in temple attendance. they get to go too!
ok, today’s the day. the sun is shining. the tank is clean. (i’m noticing that my brain is constantly quoting our frequently watched disney movies. proof of evidence is in my blog. think i’ve quoted a movie in the last three entries. yikes!)
first day of potty training. so far the score is 3-1. three accidents. one success (sorta). i’m feeling rather unsure of myself seeing that this is my first time going though it as a parent. i’m trying to find what motivates him and builds his self-confidence without making him feel pressure. funny that it really only is potty training and all of a sudden i’m thinking about messing him up for life by my particular parenting style.
note to self: take it easy. don’t be so worried about everything. trust in my abilities. PRAY.
oh joy, oh happy day! got a sweet little pedicure to make my feet feel jazzy. yippee! only one sad thing about it–i’ve been so looking forward to the razor blade thingy they use to scrape off the calluses because my feet look like i’ve been walking around town barefoot for a year. so after they didn’t do it, i was wondering why since i was clearly a good candidate. i asked him and he told me that they used to but it is now against state code in California. Lame, lame, lame, lame, LAME (insert Syndrome voice here). 🙂
anyone know if that is the case now in AZ or UT? Hope not. in any case, i’m feeling fabola. nothing like clean, cute feet.
which is something I do.
So, I have a guilty pleasure. I must admit that I really do like to watch American Idol. Jeff has been gone a lot lately, so I’ve taken the liberty of putting Dallin to bed a little early and turning on our bunny eared tv that gets only three stations. Luckily FOX is one of them. I watched last night. Didn’t really care who won. I thought they were both equally deserving. I was happy for Carrie. She seemed like a sweet, humble girl. I did start thinking about it all as I was trying to fall asleep. Thinking about how she will become an instant superstar overnight–fame, money, the whole shabang. I felt a bit saddened about how fame and stardom usually begins to corrupt and harden the soul–letting Satan in little by little. I felt a twinge of sadness that her life will be subject to this even though it all seems magical. Don’t get me wrong, I still think it’s a great thing. Just thinking.
That got me started thinking about my not-so-glamorous life at the moment. Some days I feel like motherhood is really tough. There are certain things about it that I don’t enjoy and probably never will enjoy like grocery shopping, cooking, or the idea of driving a mini van because it’s more practical than an SUV. I feel guilty for having these feelings at times, but it’s not good for me to keep all that inside. I just need to throw it out there on the table, get over it, and get on with the good things.
So in my little therapeutic way I decided to make some lists. Things I like, things I don’t like. It’s okay not to like things, but the key is to focus on the happy list.
I don’t like:
Cooking
Grocery Shopping
Mini vans (but they are growing on me)
Walking on the floor and
feeling crumbs on my feet
Falling asleep without Jeff
Having a bathroom attack
and being far from home
That I can’t make good
choices when it comes to my eating habits
An unmade bed
The Price of homes in California
That Dallin only wants to
eat junk food and his teeth are bad
Unloading the dishwasher
Being in a place (here in the ‘nard) where I’m
the only one speaking English
Making phone calls
Hairy bathrooms
Laundry
Graffiti
That I can’t swim
Blood clots
That I care too much about
what others think
THE HAPPY LIST: (not all inclusive. i’m still adding stuff.)
Being in love
Temple attendance
Pedicures
Squeeze hugs from Dallin
Smiles from Ella
Foot rubs
Watching my children sleep
Grandparents
Being taught by the Spirit
Hot chocolate after coming in from the cold
Snuggling with da baby
Putting the kids to sleep and having a date night
When Jeff does one of my "around the house" jobs
Flowers
Crisp fall air
October football games at BYU
Real bargains
Attending General Conference in the Conference Center
Scenic drives
A clean house
Running
Hearing Dallin playing by himself or with others
Watching a clean, feel-good movie
Cool and classy design
Streets of Spain
Hearing the garage door open 🙂
Ah, the happy things are good. I love playing the "Glad" game.
First off, I added a new album of Dallin and Ella pics. They are all just a tad blurry. Bummer. Wish I could figure out the right shutter speed on this camera. It’s pretty complicated and I’m no photographer. Oh well.
Second, I love being in love. Jeff and I watched the Notebook this weekend. I’m always game for a sappy, romantic movie and this one aimed to please. Not that I thought the movie was all that, but I loved watching it and thinking that I don’t have to want a romance like theirs because I’ve got an ever better one. I love our love story! Does that make sense? Probably not, it’s late and Jeff is rubbing my feet and I’m tired and I just love him. More and more every day.
Ok, is this the COOLEST or what? Tuesday night, Carlos brought me a PAELLA for dinner!!! This isn’t just any average paella. This is pura, Valenciana paella.
Carlos is our home teacher, neighbor down the street, and a member who was baptized in Valencia while mom and dad were there. Dad even gave him a blessing while he was living in Spain. So neat that he moved here and now lives about six houses away. Anyhow, it was a fabulous surprise. I was so incredibly giddy!! Of course I had to take pictures of it.
So here is our paella pa ella. In English it means a paella for her, and Ella’s name means she/her in Spanish. So basically it’s saying a paella for Ella. On our honeymoon, we snapped some photos in front of a restaurant with the same name. Coincedence? I think not!