Today I woke up, looked in the mirror, and thought, “I look like a slob.” Yep, one word pretty much sums it up. Slob. Now, I’m not bagging on myself because I realize that I haven’t had much time to worry about myself lately. But it’s that time of year and I’m itching for a haircut.

Jeff got a haircut this morning. I decided to cut Dallin’s hair (so he wouldn’t look like a slob) thinking that would somehow make me feel better about my slobbiness. Nope, didn’t work.

Sadly enough, since we’ve moved here I average about two haircuts a year. Once in the summer, usually when we’re in Arizona and then again in Utah for Christmas. How pathetic is that? 🙂 I really, really need to find someone here to cut it without asking for my firstborn child as payment.

I could write a whole paper about the psychological effects of a haircut. It is envigorating. Puts a little spring back in my step. Makes me feel like I am not destined to look like a slob forever. So maybe, just maybe I’ll break that two-haircut-a-year rule and get me a                                                                      haircut!

If there is one reason that we moved to California, it was for me to
meet these four wonderful women. Maybe it is because they are humble
enough to live in the ‘nard, maybe it’s because some are from Texas (see below), or maybe it is because they were willing to break through my "I won’t show you my weaknesses" barrier, but each one of them has become a treasured friend and blessing to my life.

When you share a really good teary-eyed, belly laugh or an "I think I told you a little too much about myself" conversation, something just connects. Isn’t that the way it is with dear friends? They are the ones who love you more when you let the insecurities fly.

Having said that, I’m coming to a conclusion…people from Texas are different. Good different. The world could use more people from Texas–genuine, loving, huge-hearted, see my flag and longhorns people.  They are the salt of the earth. And I’m glad I’m getting some of that salt sprinkled on me.

Pobrecita. The doctor told us yesterday that she has pneumonia. We had the option of putting her in the hospital or bringing her home with all the medicines and nebulizer. I opted for home knowing that a stay in the hospital would be harder on all of us. She seems to be at least looking better since we’ve been doing the treatments. It just makes my heart hurt when she has a coughing attack and is struggling for breath. I’d trade places with her in a heartbeat. Although I’ve been feeling sick again too. It seems as though the sickness is hitting me again for round two. Jeff stayed up with Ella last night giving me the first full night of sleep I’ve had for months. I’m hoping it will help revive my immune system.

I had a good talk with Janene this morning that helped me put things in perspective. I’ve been trying to understand my faith vs. the Lord’s will and last night I felt that I need to finally come to Him with a broken heart and contrite spirit. I haven’t done that sincerely. Janene reminded me of the verse in Isaiah 48:10 "Behold, I have refined thee, but not with silver; I have chosen thee in the furnace of affliction." The process of refinement involves burning the metal until it is at a melting point and then the impurities are filtered out. I’ve known that but it was so good to be reminded of what I’m being taught through all of this–be humble and prayerful always. *sigh*  You’d think I’d learn. 🙂

I spoke with Grandma today and told her about my efforts in creating this site for her to keep in touch. Hmm..let’s see if she really checks it out. So if you’re looking, Ella says "Hi, Grandma!"

Oh man, what I wouldn’t give for a tall glass of milk!  In dealing with Ella’s acid reflux, we’ve been told that a food allergy can sometimes accompany it. Her doctor gave me a long list of foods to avoid–milk, soy, fish, nuts, eggs.

It may not seem like too much, but that pretty much cuts out everything except meat and veggies. Almost every processed bread, cracker, cereal, chocolate, etc. has some sort of trace of one of those foods. Is it possible to live life without those foods? Well, you’re asking the wrong person because I certainly am not the vegan type. But I have to be…

I’ve decided that I can’t possibly avoid all of those things, but I’ve noticed that Ella doesn’t do well when I sneak a creamsicle or yogurt. So there you have it. No capes! Or should I say No milk!
It is stinkin’ hard because that means no dairy products whatsoever. Last night I was dying for ice cream and I finally had a few spoonfuls. It’s a shame to feel like I’m giving in to the dark side by having a little ice cream. Can you blame me?  As a result, I fed Ella from my stash of “sin leche” breastmilk in the freezer. I guess I can survive if I have a backup.

I’m anticipating the time when I can finally get out of the house and do some health food shopping. Long live Trader Joe’s!  Who knows maybe after all of this I’ll become a braless, tofu-eating tree hugger. 🙂

Ah, this little boy makes me laugh! I can always count on him to do or say or something that cracks me up just at the right time. He loves to wear our shoes and parade around the house especially with these new-found “santa boots.” As of late, some of my favorite words of his are ya-hoo, baby edda, and let’s do dis mommy.

Ella is doing a little better today. Dallin is hanging in there–watching a whole new slew of movies that one of our friends brought over. That has been a life saver.
Other than that, I’m trying to hang in there too. I’m so thankful that all of this isn’t throwing me into a post-partum depression because it sure is worthy of it. I’ve been extremely blessed to stay optimistic (most of the time, i still get a bit loopy) and Jeff is doing a TON to help me keep my faculties together.

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about how I can raise Dallin to be like Jeff. I know it has much to do with how his mom nurtured him. I want to be like that for Dallin because I am blessed far beyond words can say.

A mother’s day to remember. Ella is sick with bronchiolitis. Dallin is recovering and going nuts from being sequestered all week. Jeff has early meetings. And I’m still in my p.j.s feeling the less than glorious moments of motherhood and wondering if this is truly what mother’s day is all about. In a way it is because these are the moments that make you wonder if it’s all worth it. And then I’m reassured that it is. I know that it is. Partly because there is a father that makes this mother who I am. He gives them a gift daily by the way that he loves me. He really loves me.
(and he knows my fave flowers 1.gerbera daisies  2.tulips  3.roses in that order)