returning.

i like good weeks. this has been one of them.
been feeling the need to change something in my life. create a habit. be better.
rhonna has been periodically hosting a challenge inspiring people to break or create a habit in 21 days. i’ve always thought about joining in but there is this little discouraging voice that says, "if you know you aren’t going to follow through then don’t start."
stinky little voice.
but this time i didn’t listen.
i remember august of last year and a challenge i accepted. it was a challenge that changed me. our home. our attitudes. our focus. i recall reading the ensign on a sunday afternoon soon after it arrived in the mail. (which is something i rarely do). 🙂 i read president hinckley’s message. i read his challenge inviting me to read the book of mormon again. i remember being excited to do it. to listen to a prophet’s voice. but most of all i remember his promise:

Without reservation I promise you that…there will come into your lives and into your homes an added measure of
the Spirit of the Lord, a strengthened resolution to walk in obedience
to His commandments, and a stronger testimony of the living reality of
the Son of God.

i wanted that. i needed that. i realized i hungered for those things.
and so i did read. and received the blessings of that promise. and felt a powerful, spiritual, peaceful influence in my life. but when i finished reading…i patted myself on the back and fizzled.
almost a year has passed. and i’ve lost the habit. and sometimes i wonder, how can i let that habit die? a habit so crucial to my happiness? i find myself thinking, where did that missionary in me go? where is the zeal for the things of most importance?
and i am reminded of a wise mission president’s wife counsel, "that was the real you. don’t let satan make you think that was some fluke. someone you are not. or someone you can’t ever be again."

so…
i’m challenging myself. to change. to read. to return. return to the real me. the best me.
and as i do, i realize it’s really not someone i’ve never been before. it’s someone i’ve always been.

and icing on the cake this week…the l.a. temple reopened after being closed 10 months for renovations. talk about feeling like returning home! we took the kids. stayed overnight. and of course, took some pictures.

ah, yes. it’s been a good week.