a story of sleepless shopping and psychosis

so i’m sure you’re all familiar with the madness that ensues in the wee hours of the morning on the day after thanksgiving. i’ve been there and done that.
pouring over ads after turkey and pie have been eaten and dishes washed.
making a game plan to hit the stores that have what you really want, what you sorta want, and what you you might want if they have any left. 
waking up way before the dawn has even thought about cracking, standing in line at the door, watching crazed shoppers nudging/gently pushing each other and yelling "hey, the line starts back here buddy!" as the clock strikes 4:30 a.m.
doors open, adrenaline pumps, and the race is on.

well, this year just happened to be a little different for me. i had decided the night before that i was going to sit this one out. mainly due to $$ considerations and differentiating between real necessities and wants that have become perceived necessities.

little did i know that for some unknown reason my stomach decided to boycott my decision that night. i woke up unable to sleep, unable to focus on anything but my pain and anguish. the time: 4:45 a.m.
unfortunately my mom had nothing in her house to ease my suffering. ughhh… so i lay there thinking. and wincing. and wondering.

10 minutes later  i’m dressed, in the car, and driving.
first stop: Smith’s grocery store. they are closed. what? i thought every store was open this morning. don’t they know it’s the day after thanksgiving? do i drive to Wal-Mart? no, that would be sheer insanity. so i keep going. second stop: Albertson’s. they are closed too.
i see the lights on at K-mart. ok, i have no other choice. i park and walk towards the door only to see that the line is down the sidewalk and wrapped behind the store. i must be nuts. truly nuts.

inside the store people were briskly walking, grabbing toys, electronics, all the important stuff, you know. and here i am, the lone person in the aisle with products particularly for tummy trouble. i grab the box i need and head for the check out. i stand in line again. the couple in front of me have a big screen TV in their cart. the guy behind me a disney princess table, couch, and chairs. and me clutching my box of you-know-what. i put in on the counter to pay and the cashier asks me if i’d like to open a k-mart credit card and save 10% on my purchase. then she looks down to scan the item and says "oh…i guess not." i’m totally laughing inside but a little humiliated as well. she rings me up, hands me the bag, and says "have a nice day."

yes, i will now. i will have a wonderful day knowing that i was up with the best of them. up and shopping with the truly die-hards. braving the crowds. braving the chaos. only this year not for a bargain but for liberation.