Letter to Ella—May 18, 2006

Stay on the high road, Ella. Please know that it will lead you where you truly want to be.

Often I think of the future, with all of the wonderful
experiences that lie ahead and with all of the terrible temptations that you will
face. I wonder what will happen to you in the next 10, 20, even 30 years. Where
will you be? What will you be doing? How will you respond to the challenges you
will face?

Your choices will be everything. Small or large, these
choices will define you.

I offer you my humble advice as I sit here reflecting on my
own choices up to this point. And I hope and pray that you will value this
advice more than that of the world.

Surround yourself with good friends. They can make you or
break you. Always be kind to everyone around you. But choose those who will
encourage you, lift you, and stand with you in doing what is right.

Right now, I am bombarded with messages from every direction
that in order to be beautiful, you have to change everything—make your waist
smaller, make your boobs bigger, doctor your body to be something it’s not.

I can only imagine what messages you will be facing even
when you start elementary school. The world will be brutal. I know the pressure
will be real. I have faced it. And many times I have found myself worrying that
the world is staring at me. Those are the times when I feel the worst. When I
let other’s opinions make me self-conscious, I give them my power. I give away
my happiness. And I give away the love that Heavenly Father has given me
knowing that I am His daughter. When I give up these things, I am lost. I need
that love. You need that love. Please don’t give it up for a cheap and fleeting
imitation.

If I can tell you something that I have learned it is this
wise counsel: “Your appeal to others
will come of your personality, which is the sum of your individual
characteristics. Be happy. Wear a smile. Have fun. But draw some rigid parameters, a line in the sand, as it were, beyond which you will not go.”

Simple as that. You will find that the people you want to
be drawn to you will love to be around you because of your happiness, kindness,
and integrity not because of your bra size. Please believe me when I say this is true and not just some fancy
sermon about being a sweet spirit.

You are beautiful and you will be even more beautiful when
you are involved in life, not only involved in yourself.

I hope that my example to you will never contradict this. I
hope that you will look to me as a source of strength when you feel beaten
down. I hope you will always look to the Savior—He will be your greatest
friend.

Love, Mom