one year

one year.

it's amazing how much can happen in one year. at times, it seems like it passed by at lightning speed. other times, the clock must have been moving backwards.

i was just thinking today about this very same weekend one year ago. jeff spent that saturday doing this. at that time, little did i know those would be our only christmas decorations last year. not because i was lazy or anything, but because the very next day life changed a little. more like a lot.

it was a sunday afternoon and jeff had a meeting or two or maybe three. who knows? what i do know is he was about a half hour later coming home than i had expected. when he walked in the door, i dissolved into a bucket of hot tears. nothing could console my emotional breakdown. all because he was a little late. he was extremely puzzled. but i was even more so.

about an hour after i calmed down, my mind did a little calculating and bam! it hit me like a ton of bricks.

crazy? no. pregnant? maybe!

that night i couldn't sleep. as i listened to jeff peacefully breathing beside me, my body was anything but that. with my mind racing in every possible direction, i needed to know right then. right then, so i could plan for this thing that had so not been planned. all the while being overwhelmed with feelings of worry, anticipation, concern, even excitement all jumbled together in a confusing mess.

at 4am, i couldn't wait any longer. i stumbled out of bed in my pajamas and drove to the good old 24-hour wal-mart. i was in and out in less that 5 minutes. with test in hand, i sped home anxious to resolve the million-dollar question. just as jeff quietly wandered into the bathroom rubbing the sleep from his eyes, i got my answer. 

and here he is.

what an amazing. amazing. year.