doctor’s office comedy

thanks, everyone, for your well wishes! we are excited! had another little ultrasound yesterday and the little bug is so cute to look at. i am repeatedly amazed at the miracle of life. it is, undoubtedly, a divine process.

okay, so i have been missing blogging lately. i realize that collecting my thoughts on a regular basis is an extremely healthy activity for me. it keeps my mind alive, so to say. and it causes me to savor moments and experiences and gather them before they are lost in that dark corner of my brain where, all too often, i file things away and lose the key.

so speaking of things i want to remember. yesterday’s trip to the doctor’s office is worthy of recording. now, i realize this may be funny to only me. but some of you who have taken children with you to a ob/gyn appointment, might just know where i’m coming from.

i was hoping to leave ella with someone but it didn’t work out. so i packed her up with plenty of snacks and a toy to keep her entertained at the doc’s office. i figured it would be pretty routine. questions, belly check, and nothing more.

everything started off just fine. leaving the urine sample got a little crazy, but i managed to get it in the little door before she knocked it over. once i was in the exam room, the nurse informed that i would be having an internal ultrasound and i needed to undress from the waist down. yikes! i wasn’t planning on that!

i managed to get myself situated and then ella by giving her a little baggy of cheerios. we were doing okay for a while until she decided to dump them all over the floor. panicked, i started picking them all up, meanwhile trying to keep myself covered so the doc doesn’t get mooned when he walks in the door.
phew, i got it cleaned up and back into a safe position.

after about 20 minutes, i began to get antsy. ella was rolling on the floor, turning on the ultrasound machine, twisting around in the curtain, and tearing my paper cover-up to shreds. then i saw this look on her face. you know, that look. and i thought to myself, “please not right now.” but then the smell wafted my way. and…i knew the deed was done. hmm…what do i do now? the diapers were out in the car and the room was quickly becoming gas-mask worthy.

surely the doctor should be coming soon right? i heard him talking in the next room. after a few more minutes, i made a command decision. i would quickly get dressed, run her around the corner to the bathroom, take off the diaper, dump the “treat” in the toilet and put it back on her. could i do it fast enough? on your mark, get set, go!

the nurse saw me out in the hall with a bewildered look on my face. i told her what i was doing and she said she’d let the doctor know. great! well, by the time i got back to the room, he’d moved on to the next patient. so here we are waiting again and it has been an hour since we first arrived. and still more excitement in the room: ella is opening doors and cupboards and pulling things out on the floor and i’m attempting to corral her all while trying to keep the moon to a minimum. then something foul tickled my nose. could it be? no! oh yes, she pooped again!

well, folks, this time i gave up the fight. not leaving the room again. i saw some sort of spray bottle on the counter and sprayed it frantically into the air hoping it would dilute the smell. hah! fat chance! luckily i jumped back on the table just as the doctor came in. i apologized profusely for the smell. he chuckled. and i think it is safe to say that i was his quickest patient visit of the day.

um, i don’t think ella will be visiting the ob/gyn again anytime soon. 😉